My daughter was climbing a tree and fell. She got a big scrape and it hurt. She cried. We cleaned it up with soap and water and went back in the house to relax a little. I tried to comfort her and then pushed her to move forward because focusing on her wound won’t help her. Then she showed her ouchie to friends and family. I did the same thing with an emotional wound the other day.
Someone touched a place inside me with their words. It stung with hate. I felt dismissed and broken. I wanted to run away.
It took days to calm down. During that time my judgment was clouded. I heard things wrong and I missed out on some joys because of the rage I had.
Now that I have some distance from it I can see that I have a wound inside me, or am empty place that needs filled.
My mistake was expecting someone else to fill it or allowing someone else in where they shouldn’t be.
If there is a hole in your roof, the rain gets in your house and ruins your furniture or worse, precious photographs and memories.
Well there’s a hole inside me. I didn’t see it until I was vulnerable and someone’s words smarted.
A few days later I can see it isn’t anyone else’s job to fill that place. It’s mine and God’s.
But just like falling down and scraping your skin, it hurts.
What do you do with it?
Take a breath. Vent to a friend or three. Get some rest. Then take a look again. Acknowledge the hole. Maybe ask God to fill it or to help heal it.
The healing doesn’t come overnight. It takes time.
Healing means scraping out the bad and filling it with good. It doesn’t mean hardening your heart, which was my first reaction.
It’s a process. Scraping out a wound hurts. It takes courage. It means getting vulnerable enough to allow the pain.
Someone shared an anonymous quote on Facebook that said ‘when it hurts, observe life is trying to teach you something’. I realized it’s taking the focus off of another person and seeing that the work comes from within.
So today I am thanking the tree I fell out of (the person I felt hurt me), who showed me where there is a wound. And I am acknowledging it hurts.
The wound won’t heal overnight. There will probably be more scrapes from the tree but I hope I can keep my heart open enough to let the wound heal. Because if I keep letting it scab over and picking it it will happen again and again.
In the last few days a number of friends shared similar experiences. So I am hoping my struggle can help someone else. While my journey is my own I like the idea we are helping each other along the way.
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