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A Gentle Whisper

Have you heard that saying, “If you want God to laugh, tell Him your plans.”

I had plans. Plans to wake up and drink 100 ounces of water for the day. Plans to take a run, to write my book, to organize and clean the house. Plans plans plans.

Instead I am spending the last week taking care of sick dogs. My husband and I running them back and forth to the vet hospital in Garden City, wondering if they will make it. And I am cleaning the floor of  diarrhea, pee and vomit all night. 

Meal planning isn’t working and the washing machine and dishwasher need repaired. I’m battling some headaches because I may or may not be allergic to the dogs but they are ours so I will deal with it. 

I got several texts Wednesday morning from caring neighbors that our sprinkler head was broken and water was shooting up into the atmosphere. 

On Wednesday morning, my daughter had to get to school. The sheep needed fed and I needed to cover a story for the paper. 

There was a dead mouse in the water of the sheep bringing out my ridiculous fear of them. I would rather see a rattlesnake that could kill me. That is how irrational my fear is. 

My solution? I locked the gate so none of the sheep can get to the water and tonight my husband or daughter can take care of it. 

There is no run today, not even a walk. And being up most of the night with the dogs means a lot of coffee to get my work done.  Full disclosure, I even snuck in half of Hershey bar.

:Nothing went as planned. Nothing. 

Have days or weeks like that? 

For the past week I have felt off. Sometimes I think confusion can be God tilling up the soil of my life to get me ready for something bigger coming. 

Sometimes it’s a great reminder  of what it means to be alive! Also these are a whole lot of first world problems.

In the world today, US and Afghani people are trying to escape the Taliban, packing themselves onto planes, some hanging on to the plane itself for fear of certain death. 

My problems just aren’t that big. And I forget that. 

This life is temporary. And there is risk and danger. Dishes not being done today is not one of them. But a clean sink is something that makes me happy.

I guess the answer today is to take a deep breath and say Thank you. Thank you God that I get to live another day. I want to say thank you that I get to be the mom who takes care of things but honestly I don’t feel that way. When my husband and daughter ask me to play I feel like lately I am ruining it. I feel like a failure at housekeeping, meal planning and self care. I feel like I am drowning. 

So what is the answer? 

Maybe it’s remembering we aren’t alone. That God has a plan and even when we can’t see it, He is still in control. Sometimes life isn’t pretty or easy.  The truth is I am more humble when things aren’t going well. I need more community. I search for Him more.

Maybe all this is happening to remind myself that I am alive and life is messy, dirty, dangerous and sometimes difficult.  And that I haven’t been searching for Him as much. 

The bible verse that comes to mind is  1 Kings 19:12 - After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 

But maybe the gentle whisper is a reminder  of the good that is out there too - like a rainstorm, or my daughter’s smile, or sun on my face.

OPINIONS

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