When you don't win

by Michele Boy | July 31, 2025

It’s the last day of July. All I can say is fair. Our county fair is over and I am wiped out. Putting this edition together is one of the hardest every year. 
It looks to me like most of the county showed up to the fair in one way or the other. Maybe the demo derby or the rodeo, maybe the family fun zone, or to catch a livestock show. The free barbecue was packed with people. 
It was nice to see the buildings filled with entries. I loved Main Street packed with spectators. Maybe next year we could have more floats enter. 
In addition to being stock show mom, newspaper, and fair supporter, I volunteer in some aspects too. I think I have taken tickets for the demo derby for 20 years. 
f I stop and count, the number of volunteers to put on the fair is large. Even so, we can always use more hands. Is there one particular area of interest, you could come be a part! 
 Back to today. Normally after a big week like that there is a break. But before I take a break, I need to get the paper out. 
So for at least one week out of the year, I have zero idea what is going on in the world. Since this is all I have been involved with, this is what my column will be about. 
When I watch the kids win, lose, laugh, cry, argue, and practically fall asleep at the fair, I know the memories they are building. Fair friendships are ageless. Seniors and first time 4-Hers pair up. Bonds are formed between all the kids. 
Besides public speaking, they learn valuable life skills in 4-H. You may not know this, I sure didn’t. 4-Hers have consultation judging for their projects. They visit with a judge and have to answer questions and explain how they made what they made. If someone did it for them, the judge would know. 
In Round Robin, livestock kids show all the different species of animals for the judges. It happens near the end of fair when everyone is tired and worn out. Two are chosen out of each age group as the grand and reserve champions. 
How much work you put in is likely how victorious you will be. 
My point is you can’t hide. 4-H is the definition of show your work. 
It is easy to blame the judge, others, etc. However accepting responsibility for the loss isn’t easy. 
I am the photography superintendent for open class. So if you in the community took a photo and enter it in the fair, I mark the photo in and out, help the judge classify it, and write down the placement. I enter a few of my own photos too. Since names are on the back, my photos are judged fairly. When the judge gives my photo a red or white ribbon, ouch! 
I admit I didn’t enter many this year. A friend encouraged me to enter one and it was a class champion. It didn’t win. It didn’t come close. The winners deserved to win. 
How to lose is an important skill - to not complain, to not make excuses, to own the loss. But it is also separate from who you are. 
Growing up I learned if I lost I was a loss. Does that make sense? 
What I do and who I am are not intrinsically connected. Now, enough losses and poor decisions can create that environment. 
But watching children accept defeat and still thank the judge respectfully is a major life skill in my opinion.  With the right people around them, they separate who they are and take responsibility for what they do. 
To those who supported the 4-H kids in the youth exhibit sale, I cannot thank you enough. You really are helping shape the future.