Fame and Fortune

by Michele Boy | June 24, 2021

I’ve decided fame and fortune are not for me.  

Growing up I lip synced for hours in my bedroom every rock song from my Elvis Presley eight track tape to Johnny Cash, Molly Hatchet and Judas Priest and Led Zeppelin albums.

I dreamed of being a rock star. I would get out of my limousine to screaming fans. I had a long black leather duster, white t-shirt, faded jeans and my Converse all star sneakers.

I would be rushed into the stadium where I would passionately sing my heart out and get back in the limo sweaty and wore out. 

There was so much accolades and very little intimacy. I never dreamed of sharing that with anyone. I never dreamed of a partner, a family or even a best friend. 

Last Friday we had an open house and ribbon cutting and a virtual award presentation from the Kansas Press Association. 

It’s not a stadium filled with crowds, nor is it major news. But it changed me for a few hours. I was suddenly hypervigilant about who came by, who said congratulations and who didn’t. 

I racked my brain and my emotions about friendships and familial relations. 

No one had changed but me. No one had acted any different except me. My insecurities poured out and I felt ugly. Instead of being proud and happy, I felt emptier. I forgot about God. I forgot about others. And I suddenly wished we weren’t celebrating this.  

I didn’t like my self centered focus. I think the reason the paper does well is the community. It’s capturing other people’s stories.

For someone who always dreamed of fame I was surprised to see how terrible I would be at it.

I become so needy I leave room for no one and I don’t focus on the good!

When I take a step back I can see great things that came from that day. My daugher and her friends wrote messages with chalk on the sidewalk, my husband stood proudly smiling and my father in-law came to celebrate with me. 

Area businesses stopped by to support us.

I see the amazing team that works hard and with pride for a strong weekly paper.

All the people that spoke kind words of congratulations and stopped in to say hello meant so much to me! 

But it reminded me that I am a better person behind the scenes. I am kinder when I am celebrating you.

When the next piece of news came in I was never so happy. I got to do what I do - celebrate someone else’s victories. 

I think that is where I will stay, thanking God for what I have, and highlighting others. 

The spotlight is a tricky place to be. The self confidence and the focus on God must be honed or drug addiction appears imminent. 

I am so grateful to move forward and see where I fall short and how wondrous the day is that my rock star dreams fell apart. 

When I hear the stories of the celebrities who fall apart, I can see why. 

My fame was for five seconds. And that was too much for me. 

I will simply say thank you. We will continue to work hard for you and for God. 

I hope everyone enjoyed the celebration and we appreciate all the messages we get for appreciation of an amazing team. 

This truly is a group effort. This isn’t about me. What a relief. 

The load is too heavy on my own.