A Little Bit of Grace

by Michele Boy | April 3, 2025

Happy April! There is wind, rain, and snow in our forecast for the next couple of days. Happy spring in western Kansas. LOL. 
 I have never been a big fan of April Fools Day but this year in particular April 1 was a rough one.
It started off with a lot of gratitude and a walk with a friend.  A phone call unnerved me. Then as I took a lamb to the vet in Lakin, I came across a massive fire. 
I quickly turned on my scanner to see what was going on. Multiple counties including ours were battling it. I’m sure if you were on scene it wasn’t as dramatic but thoughts in my head began to circulate. What if??
The fire got near homes. It started moving towards the gas plant. My heart hurt for the community, for the firefighters, and my imagination went nuts. 
My lamb was in a large crate in the back of the pickup breathing in all the smoke. More what ifs.  What if they close the highway? How do I get my ewe into the pickup safelty? Will she be ok?
 The highway did close after we had passed through and the lamb was safe. 
A series of other events brought my what ifs to new heights and my emotions were out of control. Sadly at the end of the day I took it out on the people I love the most. 
  In the middle of the night I was most upset at my own behavior. After a decent night’s sleep, I apologized to them. 
I have a sign in my living room that says, “In this house we do loud, we do I’m Sorry, etc.”  I truly felt it. I am grateful that my outbust wasn’t a day to day thing. That I was forgiven and for the most part, our home is happy. 
  We all fail. We all fall short. 
In the midst of my not great day, I decided to push myself to find ways to do good. I sent a couple of text messages to people with honest compliments. I got a small gift for a friend that I knew would make her smile. Or at least I hoped. 
As I walked by a church sign, it said something to the effect of, “Be flexible so when the tree bends it doesn’t break.” Or something like that.  
While my emotions got the best of me on April First, I was pleased to wake up April Second to try again. 
As I look back on the day, I was more flexible than I once was but not quite as flexible as I could be. I’m a work in progress.
Wednesday morning I got up a little fearful of the what ifs.  
The bible verses comes to mind,  Luke 12:25 -26 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
What ifs can drive you crazy and they are a real part of life. But if we don’t take care of ourselves, if we don’t stop and connect to ourselves, to God, to others, we can lose perspective and life can quickly get out of control.
  After a good night’s sleep, the effects of the day still had taken a toll on my mental health. I had an emotional hangover. 
I made time for a morning walk with my friend and our dogs. I pushed through getting my work done as well as worked on my gratitude list. 
 Today I am more protective of my emotional health. Today I want to watch who I am around, what I do, and how I behave. I can’t change anyone but I can take time to care for me. 
 Do you let the little things get to you? Build? End up taking it out on others? 
Once upon a time that was my daily life. Today I am grateful that is the rarity. 
I am so grateful today that the fire didn’t claim any lives, that people got home safely, that my family forgave me, that the sun was shining, I still have friends, and there is God and hope. 
And when someone I love wasn’t nice to me the next day, I gave the grace that was given to me. 
As we get closer to Easter, I think more and more of His mercy to me. And I am humbled.