Fight

by Michele Boy | February 24, 2022

Fight. Sometimes you have to fight for it. Sometimes you have to fight through it.
I was raised to run. I ran from feelings, from hard things. It is hard to admit that at 53 years of age I still have a spirit of running away. But my life the last 20 years has been one of fighting through those feelings and staying. 
The ability to stand and fight through comes from my husband, the friends I keep, and wanting better for my daughter. 
If my dad didn’t like what the boss said we moved. If he couldn’t work through something he got divorced. If he didn’t like things I said or was doing he stopped speaking to me for weeks. 
But today I stand. Today I fight through. I lost someone I loved last week. Then our cat died. Everything in me wants to run, to hide to lash out. 
But I have watched many in our small community suffer far more and keep walking. They stand. And I draw strength from that energy. 
Standing and going through hurts. I don’t want to work out. I don’t want to listen to a preacher. I don’t want to do the things that are good for me. I want to lay down on my couch watching bad movies and eat chocolate frosting  by the tub for days to numb myself. 
But I am not. I am working out. I am watching the preacher. I am drinking extra water. And I am hurting but I am working on going through. It isn’t comfortable but I am building spiritual muscles. 
And I am fighting so my daughter and anyone else can see I am still standing. 
But standing takes courage. It takes acceptance of the situation and feeling pain. 
Skills some of you may have learned many years ago. Skills some of you haven’t learned yet. So here I am vulnerable before you saying “Ow it hurts.” And I am still here. 
So this is my thank you to you for showing me how to grieve, for showing me how to fight through,  for showing me to keep moving forward no matter how hard it is. 
When everything in me doesn’t want to work out I am working out. When everything in me doesn’t want to feel, I am standing trying to feel. 
A friend once told me I can do hard things. And I repeat that over and over to myself. I can do hard things. 
Endurance- the ability to withstand hardship or adversity
In Hebrews 12 it says And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 
How about you? Do you hide or run away from pain? Drink too much? Drugs? Eat? Lash out at people? Seek out the wrong person for companionship?
Fall into a deep depression?  How do you handle it when things are tough? 
It takes courage and willingness to fight through. To be honest with yourself. It’s not easy but I am stronger than yesterday. 
So are you going to fight through or run away? 
In the words of Rachel Patten,

“This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.”