Unstoppable

by Michele Boy | March 7, 2024

She was unstoppable not because she did not have failures but because she continued on despite them  

- Beau Taplin
My daughter asked me about the word criticism. We discussed it. I mentioned how growing up I quit at the first sign of discomfort. I quit at the first piece of criticism. I wasn’t taught how to grow through. 
I explained the importance of continuing on despite people criticizing you. 
I had her read The Man in the Arena by Teddy Roosevelt. "It’s not the critic who counts."
This past couple of months, I have had a series of events which frustrated me. My heart began to harden. I was quick to notice it and prayed God remove the hardness, but it wasn’t that simple. 
There were many thoughts vying for my attention. I felt like an angel was on one shoulder and the devil was on the other. The angel said Look to God. Forgive. Pray. The devil said Look here. Look how that hurts. Look at what they have done. Stand up for yourself. Fight. 
So my mind and body continued to argue and fight. And it began to affect other relationships as well. The peace that I normally have was slipping away. On the one hand I was grateful for the awareness. Many years of hard heartedness had not served me well. 
Falling in love with Jesus and owning my own issues helped me let go of grievances. But once in a while moments will try to get me to go back to those ways. Moments happen. That is part of life and part of relationships. Staying in that hurt and that hardening of hearts leads to disconnect, anger, walls, and division.  
Is it gone? No. Are those frustrations still there? Yes. But we are works in progress.
I would rather fight standing with someone than against them. I would rather pray with you than have walls go up. 
I also want to point out that I like instantaneous freedom from these pains. And that isn’t happening. 
So I knew the only place I could go with all this was church on Sunday. I prayed for God to soften my heart. He can’t use me when I cut people off. He can’t use me when my heart becomes like a rock. And honestly it feels awful. 
I sang songs, I got quiet. I enjoyed sitting next to my daughter listening to the preacher talk. And when I left I was more filled up than before. My eyes were on God and I knew I was where I needed to be. 
Sunday evening and Monday more disturbances tried to take my peace. So many that I started to laugh. I felt like I was being attacked spiritually. I told my husband something great must be about to happen. 
I opened up my web browser and was reading some news that horrified me and put my troubles in perspective. In the grand scheme of things my irritations and frustrations were minuscule. 
How can God use me if I am so easily rattled. 
So I will ask that you pray for me and I will pray for you. As Easter is coming with all He did for me, I know I have been forgiven far more than the grudges I am holding. 
He loves me more than I know how to love. He gave His life for me and I am irritated by really really small annoyances. 
He says I am the vine and you are the branches. Apart from me you can do nothing. 
So I am grateful today for the irritations which once upon a time led to more anger. Now they lead me to His feet to say I am not worthy and please forgive me. Those grievances, irritations, and annoyances. They don’t serve Him, they don’t serve ourselves. They only serve to create more problems and division. If we want a better world I don’t see that helping anything. But it also doesn’t change that this past week I struggled.