Surrender

by Michele Boy | March 28, 2024

I was struggling this past week as I remembered my parents anniversary, however short was March 31. And I remembered how they couldn't communicate or get through the hard times. 
As I was growing up I often heard my father say, "Everyone you meet turns to %$^#." I will let you figure that word out. Hint, it rhymes with grit. lol.
The sentiment never sat right with me. What I realized later on was in his crude way, he was saying everyone is broken. Sadly I don't believe he ever got past that sentiment to where the good stuff is in relationships. 
Everyone has scars, failures, shame. Everyone goes to bed wishing they hadn't done something, said something, etc. But what do you do after that? Do you own your issues? That takes experience and courage.
I have not always been the best at it but over the years I have come to own my messes faster. 
It never serves me to hide or be less authentic. But maybe the truth is how it is received. Will the other person break their relationship with me? Will it cause irreparable damage? And when it is family, the cost is immeasurably higher. 
Where are you in your authenticity? It is a fair question. The world seems to be very comfortable villanizing each other. How often do you hear someone stand up and own their issues? 
Swords don't heal. Hate and lies don't help. I read a farmer blog where they were mocking the city people and their ignorance when someone asked them a question. If the opportunity presents itself to teach, do you take it? This person didn't. 
Again, are you willing to go through to get to the good in a relationship? That often means discomfort, conflict, setting aside your ego, and becoming vulnerable.
When my father was angry he stopped speaking to me for weeks at a time.
It didn't serve me to be honest, but I tried. To him, he was done. The relationship was fragile. 
In Matthew 5:46-47. it states, "If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?"
As Easter is approaching this weekend, it is a time to stop to remember what He did for us. It is also a time to remember that we have brokenness we cannot heal on our own. We have walls that won't come down by themselves.
Once upon a time, I asked God to please help me see this person through your eyes because I can't get passed some major hurts. Shortly after, I received a hateful awful call that hurt even worse. 
Later the person I had prayed for called me and instantaneously I saw something magical. I saw their beauty. 
When I was on the side of the road in a broken down car asking God into my life, I suddenly felt a complete love and wholeness I had never known. 
Slowly over time mistakes, hurts, and judgments of others have tarnished that joy and peace. That's what happens when we are in the world, we get dirty. 
Perhaps this is a good time to refresh yourself. Maybe stop and pray. Perhaps, confess a sin to a trusted friend. Maybe ask God to reveal the hardness in yourself. That's tough. 
How many times have we asked God to do a work in someone else? I confess, it is often. But asking Him to help me grow through something difficult, to not change the situation, but rather my character and my trust in Him, well that is a harder task.
The song Surrender by Lincoln Brewster comes to mind this Easter weekend.
"I'm giving You my heart and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of You my King
I'm giving You my dreams I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life
And I surrender all to You
All to You"