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Hallelujahs and Headaches

It’s early Wednesday morning at 4:40 AM, as I sit in bed sipping a large cup of coffee writing a few notes on my phone to finish this week’s paper. 
I walked into church Sunday. I saw the message,
Hallelujahs and headaches, and I laughed. That is the theme of my life lately.  Maybe it always has been. 
Hallelujah means God be praised. 
Well I am praising God for so many wonderful blessings and then in the midst of it there are multiple major headaches as well. 
If someone was in my brain they might think I am bipolar. In one breath I am thanking God, and in the next I am freaking out over things I have no control over. 
I will start with, I have a teenager. Enough said. If you know, you know. 
 My daughter started junior high track and one meet was rescheduled to yesterday, another meet is Thursday. 
I worked some on Sunday, late nights, and early mornings, to be able to go watch her. 
I think about all the parents that do that. And I think about the technology that lets them. 
Because of my laptop I can do this work  at home. 
Technology is a blessing and a curse. I hear people say often how great it was before there were phones in kids hands. But amber alerts and the vast amount of research that can be done on these tiny devices is pretty incredible. 
  As a kid I spent 16 months hidden from my father until a private investigator found me and brought me home. That could have been 48 hours with an Amber Alert. I have been able to diagnose myself with a few chronic conditions that doctors have confirmed because of the research I used, thanks to technology. 
  Now, technology and teens is a whole other ballgame. In this crazy world, I love having the opportunity to know where my child is at all times. However, speaking with other teen moms that comes with a whole lot of headaches. 
Sometimes I feel like a dinosaur trying to navigate all the things that are possible on these tiny devices filled with so much possibility. Sigh. 
Hallelujahs and headaches. If I stop and think about what if I did this, what if I did that, I will go crazy. Life is meant to be lived forward. 
It is teaching me more grace and less judgment. It is building community because I can’t parent alone. 
When the bills come in and you aren’t sure how they will be paid, when obstacles come your way that seem insurmountable, do you focus on the hallelujahs or the headaches? 
As I tried to handle a few of the headaches, I have to keep reminding myself of all the good I have seen God do. 
Matthew 17:20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.Nothing will be impossible for you.”
Do you have that faith? When things don’t go your way? When life looks desperate? It’s easy to have faith when it is all going right. But our faith is built on the tough times. 
I think of the Passover story where the Jews were escaping Pharaoh, desperate, then the sea parted. They escaped. Their enemies drowned. 
I think about Good Friday when all hope was lost. I think how defeated Jesus disciples felt, his mother. 
Sunday came. Sunday came!
In truth life is scary. We know too many who have died young. We know many who have been put through hell on Earth. We don’t know why some are fortunate and others are lost to addiction. There are no guarantees in life. 
That is scary and exciting. 
If you are alive I imagine you have some hallelujahs and some headaches. 
My prayer is you can focus on the hallelujahs a little more, and say a prayer for direction when the headaches come.
Happy Easter!

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