There’s never enough time! Look at the obituary section. No one escapes. Young and old pass on, all before their time.
I have hopes and dreams for my family and myself. I look back at when I was young and single and making disastrous life choices that led me into a deep depression.
There were times I had to make a checklist to come up with five reasons to get out of bed.
I remember feeling so pathetic. My list would consist of make coffee, get dressed, go outside, get the mail and try walking into a store.
I pushed and pushed that girl to try and grow.
Today that person is so far away, I am not sure I would recognize her. But I can stop and say I am proud that she didn’t stay there.
And now my life today has so much, I can’t keep up with all the joys of motherhood, the beauty of the skies, and the friendships. Even the errands, chores, and endless mom things are gifts. And I wouldn’t trade any of it!
But once in a while I need a vacation. But when? There isn’t enough money or time. There rarely is.
I look back on my late twenties when I bicycled through Ireland, 30 miles a day through huge hills, staying at bed and breakfasts and I couldn’t afford any of it.
I spent a couple years paying it off. When I look back, was it worth it? Absolutely!
If I waited till today, I probably couldn’t physically do it.
In fact most of my regrets in life are things I didn’t do!
So if all goes according to plan, as you read this, my family and I are headed for a short vacation to the ocean. To ride bikes, explore, kayak, and have some down time.
Can we afford it? Not really. Do we have the time? No.
My daughter will miss a couple days of school, bassketball practice, and some other extracurricular activities.
My husband who I have to drag away from the farm is usually happy and thanks me when we return that it was worth the time to make some family memories.
And me? Well my health was never strong, and there is still recovery from COVID, and I have moments thinking this might be my last vacation. Even as I write this I wonder if I will be strong enough to get on the plane and go enjoy myself.
Maybe I just need another cup of coffee? Coffee is always the answer.
But it is time. It is time to take a break from local news, from the world’s craziness, and from our day to day tasks.
I often spend time thinking about those who have passed and how much I wish they had more time and it reminds me I have to make the most of today.
Maybe my fragility is a gift. I am still here.
We probably won’t get away again for a long time. And being so happy that our day to day is good, mostly, even in our struggles.
We are blessed with family, friends, and enough.
I hope we return energized from uneventful flights, down time, and a load of memories!
And I pray I have another 50 years at least to keep striving for all I dream of.
But no one knows the day or the hour we pass, right?
So in the meantime, I want to make the most of every hour and every opportunity.
So I hope you read this today and take a moment to reflect. Is there time to get outside and get sun on your face? Is there someone to call to say Hey I have been thinking of you?
What if this was your last day? Is there one more thing you would do?
It’s hard to live in that state of mind all the time but once in a while can you remember someone who passed and think about the gift we have today?
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