What is meant for you?

by Michele Boy | January 16, 2025

Happy mid-January! I am not excited for the below zero temperatures coming as we are waiting on a lamb to deliver her baby.  We thought she was close the other night. My husband and I traded off checking every couple of hours. It was a long night with little sleep. It was a false alarm but it made functioning at work very difficult and also makes me concerned about this newspaper. 
 Thankfully my proofreaders caught my accidental July instead of January error along with others.  But what else I missed or what else I could have done better is yet to be seen.    
With so many obituaries this week, some stories have to wait until next week. 
 I feel guilty those stories aren’t in. I feel bad there wasn’t enough room for this or that. 
 Yes it is positive to always try to grow and learn but it can be detrimental to always feel guilt, shame, or frustration with yourself. 
  I noticed in my “always need to do better” attitude, some of that isn’t helping me.
 It is time to let some of it go. 
Do the best you can and move on.
   That is easier said than done.  But I will try. 
On my always try to do better list,  I have been reading more consistently, working out (even if they are small ten minute workouts), and completed 800 days on my Spanish lesson app. 
  I notice that is how I do better, small increments. Then anything over that is a bonus.
 Well this weekend my family went away and I stayed home with the baby lambs. I spent a few hours doing absolutely nothing and then felt guilty. Is it okay to stop and do nothing? I think it is sometimes!
  How has your discipline been going so far?
   It isn’t too late to start something. But I will add it is okay to let go of something that doesn’t work for you. Trying new things is great.  It can sometimes teach us what isn’t for us as well.
   When obstacles come our way, we have choices. We can go through or walk away. Sometimes the answer is to push on. Other times it is to walk away. 
  I think that is where my connecction to God comes in. When I get so busy, I can stop listening. 
As life shifts, changes, moves, we need to shift and change too. 
  That can be challenging.
  Each day brings new opportunities and challenges. 
One I have noticed recently is my awareness that some people I thought were on my side, don’t like me. 
LOL. Yes, I am aware that there have always been people that don’t like me. 
But usually my habit has been how do I fix this? What do I do to salvage it? How can I change myself?
  This past week, I have become okay with you misunderstanding me, disliking me, etc. It has always been there. My eyes are just awakening to letting it be. 
  What is meant for me will find me. Yes there needs to be effort but there is also acceptance of what doesn’t belong. 
 I think that is why I dislike clutter in my home. I want to remove what isn’t working to make way for the things that do.
  Maybe that is my next step. Each day or almost each day, grab a few things to let go of. 
If every day I did five minutes of that, at the end of the year I will have 1,825 minutes completed. 
  Maybe I will never be the person who doesn’t try for more. But I would rather try and fail than sit and complain all the time about everyone else. 
 I feel like life is climbing a mountain. Wouldn’t it be cool if each time we got to a checkpoint, a light  came on and a voice said, “Good job. You are on the right path. Keep going!”
Ha. While we don’t have that, I know stopping once in a while to check in with God and myself is important. He says , “I am the vine and you are the branches. Apart from me you can do nothing.” 
 So as I sit here contemplating am I on the right path, am I doing too much, too little, did I do this right, did I upset them, I need to remember that I won’t please everyone. But if I check in with me and God and give it my best, I can lay my head on the pillow at night and sleep soundly. 
  It is the times I get caught up in what they think, what they want, what I should do or should have done, that I get in trouble. 
 Can you relate? 
On the plus side, God knows I will make mistakes and He will keep coming after me. 
 I started humming this today,  “God I ‘m running for your heart till I am a soul on fire.” - Third Day.
  I hope in the coming week you can find time to stop, get quiet, and check in with yourself and God.  Even if it’s five minutes. It is a good place to start.